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Forgiveness?

 

Welcome to 2015!

 

Is it everything you thought it'd be? 

Remember dreaming of the future when you were a child? Remember wondering what the year 2000 would look like? Remember imagining flying cars and hoverboards? It was a better and brighter future - one where everything was cleaner and made perfect sense. 

 

Does that sound anything like the 2015 we've been living in so far? 

 

This year I really wanted to focus on putting love first in my life. I know that sounds ridiculous - and anyone who knows me in person knows that I'm not a lovey-dovey "come hold my hand and sing kumbaya" type guy - but I really have been making an effort to, what I call - Love First & Love Hard.

#LFLH

 

Because 2014 was pretty awful for a lot of people. Check out this list of some of the many people who died during 2014. 

And it's not just other peoples' lives that were affected last year - my own family has gone through some pretty challenging stuff, to say the least. 

Nothing that I really feel like talking about at this point, but maybe some day.

 

So my thought was this, "Wow 2014, you really sucked for a lot of people. I don't want 2015 to be that bad - whatever I can do, I'm doing!" 

But really, what can anyone do to change anything right? The negative thoughts are like a tidal wave when anyone tries to attempt something positive, right? 

 

My plan has been to put love first, in whatever I am doing - and to love hard. To "be the change that I would like to see in the world." instead of waiting for someone else to be the change for me. 

Not that I know exactly what all that means - but it sounded good back in December, so I'm sticking to it. I've been trying to see the different situations in my life through a lens of love, which admittedly has sort of been like some paternal love of everything and everyone lately. 

Confession time - I may not know what real and true love is. 

That's a hard truth to swallow, but when your website slogan and life motto is, "Side with the truth and you'll always be right." you just have to accept a few of these soul-searching things. 

 

But for our topic at hand - and although there are SO SO many different things I could be writing about today - I wanted to talk specifically about forgivness. 
Sip your drink and take a breath, this is where I'm about to switch gears. 
Who has the power of forgiveness in your life? 
I'm not talking about who has the power to forgive YOU, per se', but I'm talking about forgiveness, as a verb. I mean, where IS forgiveness?
Think about it for a bit. I forgive you, you forgive me, our gods forgive us, we forgive them - whatever, but where is this forgiveness? Pin it down for me so I can touch it - show me exactly where forgiveness is and what it looks like. 
If I pay your debt, your debt is forgiven. That's something we can trace, a paper-trail of forgivenss if you will. But we both know you'll owe me something if we're talking that type of forgiveness. 
But emotional forgiveness, the real meat and potatos of what we are referring to here - that stuff, the good stuff - that's inside your heart. Nowhere else. Period. 
There is no etherical forgiveness, no out or up there forgiveness that anyone really desires, no. The forgiveness which we both give and receive - is from our hearts. That's the type that means something to us, that affects our entire lives. 
You have come through so much to get to this point - we both know it. People have hurt you so badly, like a splinter in your mind, or a dagger in your back and through your heart. Believe me, I know what it feels like to be wronged. 
I have been through it, I had what some would call "a rough start" in life, outside of how I was raised - I've been through betrayal, divorce, abandonment, isolation, helplessness, and all the feelings of failure and heartache that go along with it.
But can we truly forgive? And what is forgiveness?
To me, there is a clear definition - one that I would like to share with you through the teachings of my life experiences, and if it helps you, then that will bring me great joy. 
If someone abused you in a criminal way, where is that now? Where is the event? Well, the event is in a space of time that we would literally have to turn the planets and Solar System backwards to see. So the event itself - is a memory, it is nothing etheric, out there, it is not something you can place in your hand or throw away - the event and the memory are in your heart. 
What a polluted place our hearts must be!
We all know that carrying around bitterness and fear in our hearts is detrimental to our own health - we have to live inside these bodies for the rest of our lives, let's try not to pollute them with the various toxins released into our bloodstream when we enter states of fear and extreme bitterness. This life we live, these states of mind we are in - all begin at the state of our hearts. It is the first thing formed in the womb, and the thing literally pumping your life-giving blood all around your body right now.  

But for our topic at hand - and although there are SO SO many different things I could be writing about today - I wanted to talk specifically about forgiveness. 


Sip your drink and take a breath, this is where I switch gears. 

 


Who has the power of forgiveness in your life? 


I'm not talking about who has the power to forgive YOU, per se, but I'm talking about forgiveness, as a verb. I mean, where IS forgiveness?


Think about it for a bit. I forgive you, you forgive me, our gods forgive us, we forgive them - whatever, but where is this forgiveness? Pin it down for me so I can touch it - show me exactly where forgiveness is and what it looks like. 

If I pay your debt, your debt is forgiven. That's something we can trace, a paper-trail of forgiveness if you will. But we both know you'll owe me something if we're talking that type of forgiveness. 

But emotional forgiveness, the real meat and potatoes of what we are referring to here - that stuff, the good stuff - that's inside your heart. Nowhere else. Period. 

 

 

There is no etherical forgiveness, no out or up there forgiveness that anyone really desires, no. The forgiveness which we both give and receive - is from our hearts. That's the type that means something to us, that affects our entire lives. 

You have come through so much to get to this point - we both know it. People have hurt you so badly, like a splinter in your mind, or a dagger in your back and through your heart. Believe me, I know what it feels like to be wronged. 


I have been through it, I've had what some would call "a rough start" in life; outside of how I was raised - I've been through betrayal, divorce, abandonment, isolation, clinical depression, suicide attempts, helplessness, and all the feelings of failure and heartache that go along with it.


But can we truly forgive? And what is forgiveness?

 

To me, there is a clear definition - one that I would like to share with you through the teachings of my life experiences - and if it helps you, then that will bring me great joy. 

If someone abused you in a criminal way, where is that now? Where is the event? Well, the event is in a space of time that we would literally have to turn the planets and Solar System backwards to see. So the event itself - is a memory, it is nothing etheric, out there, it is not something you can place in your hand or throw away - the event and the memory are in your heart. 


What a polluted place our hearts must be!


We all know that carrying around bitterness and fear in our hearts is detrimental to our own health - we have to live inside these bodies for the rest of our lives, let's try not to pollute them with the various toxins released into our bloodstream when we enter states of fear and extreme bitterness.

This life we live, these states of mind we are in - all begin at the state of our hearts. It is the first thing formed in the womb, and the thing literally pumping your life-giving blood all around your body right now.  

It's hard to forget a theif robbing you. It's harder still to leave your doors open at night after the theif has been caught. And if that theif shows up and asks to come into your house for tea - would you let him? 

What I'm talking about isn't forgetting things that have happened to you. What I'm talking about is a heart-based and heart-centered forgiveness. When you can get to the place where you realize that no matter what the theif has done or taken from you, you don't want your entire life and heart to be sullied as a result of it, for your own health and mental sanity. 

 

The theif took something, definitely - there is no arguing that. But the theif stole from you in a system governed by laws. The theif will get caught, there will be justice - and none of that will change that you still have to deal with your heart and your own forgiveness. 

Can you let go of the pain? Can you accept that you have been wronged - and yes it hurts like hell, but can you decide in your core to not allow the past to continue to haunt your future? Can you forgive the person? Can you see that this person has made mistakes - like you have yourself? And in seeing that, can you accept that you would also enjoy the same forgiveness if you had wronged someone in a similar fashion? 

 

We all make mistakes, we are all human - and we all have these same challenges of dealing with forgiveness. 

 

I have been through a lot in my life, and I'm sure there's more to come - but I am not holding any grudges against anyone who has wronged me - what's done is done. I forgive you, not only for your sake - but for my sake too. I even forgive myself for the mistakes that I have made - especially the ones of my youth! 

But that's what life is all about - we all have to grow and learn. We can't just keep repeating these dramas over and over to get even, because then we're perpetuating the very things that have upset us so much in the first place!

 

It has to end with you. Allow the drama to come to an end. 

 

I cannot allow anyone who has wronged me to torment my daily life, that is a repetitious felony, when once was enough. I try to let these negative experiences go, it happened and now it's over. Let's move on. Life here is short. We'll all be dead one day, let's not waste this life while we are still yet alive. 

 

And if you can master this type forgiveness - you can truly love first and love hard in 2015. 

 

I believe in you. 

 

You are awesome.